Huff Post: Healthy Living
We push people away when we feel lonely.
Loneliness is extremely damaging to our emotional and physical health and we should make every effort to emerge from its clutches as soon as we can. However, loneliness makes us feel so raw and vulnerable, so fearful that others will hurt our feelings or disappoint us, that we tend to approach others with suspicion and caution or avoid social situations altogether. We tell ourselves we’re being “wise” by avoiding potential hurt when, in fact, our defensive posture only pushes away the very people with whom we might create new social bonds or deepen existing ones.
We demoralize ourselves after we fail.
Failure can be extremely instructive as it allows us to derive vital lessons that increase our likelihood of future success. Unfortunately, our habitual response to failure is to convince ourselves our goals are too hard and that we lack the ability to attain them, even when we plan persisting toward them. We tell ourselves we are being “realistic” and “pragmatic” even though demoralizing ourselves and lowering our expectations is neither realistic nor useful. Read further: